Down on my knees

I just had a fight on the phone with some guy from IS Bankasi. He maintained his polite manner to missus Geerdink, while I begged him on my knees (but he didn’t see that) to give me some real assistance. After going to the bank a few times to get the required numbers, codes and whatever else they wanted and provided, I could actually access my account on the website. Now I want to make a payment, but among all the 238 options available, ‘paying a bill’ is not one of them. Okay, it is, but there you can very conveniently click automatic payment of your gas, water, electricity, satellite dish, phone and everything else, but not a payment to just another person. So I call customer service. First they get me to enter my customer number three times and when they ask me to do the same thing again, I get down on my knees and tell him I only need to know which one to click of all these Turkish words. After arguing over numbers and needs for ten minutes, he says: “There’s an English version of the website too, didn’t you know that, missus Geerdink?” No, I didn’t. And yes, the tiniest letters on the front page actually offer the English option. I’m so relieved, and even manage to thank the guy for his patience before I click ‘English’. But of course in English there are still 238 options to choose from. I click around, and I actually think I have found the right button. But now it gives an error message anyway. It says I have to go to my bank branch to make this very option accessible. Do they think missus Geerdink is crazy? Missus Geerdink thinks it would be quicker to just take a bus to Ankara and pay the beneficiary in person.