Oğlum bak

Every time we visit his parents, his father talks to him. Almost every sentence starts with ‘Oğlum bak’, meaning: ‘Look, my son…’, after which advice and wisdom about life follows. Father tries to get son on the right track. Son is 31 years old now, and to put it mildly we can say that in his parents’ eyes he didn’t live up to the expectations. He never had a long-term job, he is not married, does not have children and is reluctant to do what any oldest and only son should do: take over daddy’s business. Oğlum bak. At first I liked it, it was sort of fatherly, caring, loving. But the son doesn’t see it that way. He gets irritated when the Oğlum bak-talk starts again. He wants to make his own choices. Sometimes they may be choices his parents approve of, sometimes not. He’s been confused about his choices for years, but when I hear him talk these last few weeks, it sounds like he has made up his mind about some things. One of these weeks or months we will visit his parents again. He might tell his parents about his choices. This time there’s a good chance he rather than daddy will start talking first. In stead of him listening to his father, his father will have no choice but to sit down and listen to his son. And the talk will start with ‘Babam bak’. ‘Look, my father…’

One thought on “Oğlum bak”

  1. Awesome! I have been through that. More often my father used to say, ‘Yavrum bak’, ‘Look my dear’.
    That is because many Turkish parents are rather emotional and they have a great sense of responsibility on their kids. They always feel like they need supervise their kids all the time, especially fathers, even if it doesn’t really help sometimes, they still do.


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